14 February 2012
Single Awareness Day, Tuesday, Valentine's Day
City of Smiles, Philippines
I wonder
why people keep talking about Valentine’s Day. I was walking last week in the
corridor, heading for my marketing exam and overheard a lot of students; most
are girls who keep on talking about February 14. It seems that this day is so significant
for a lot of people (excluding me). I kept on wondering why they try to discuss
about it more than focusing their exams, to think that it’s midterms. Some keep
on talking about their plans, how they will celebrate it. Valentine’s seems to
be a cliché but how did it all started?
I was
reading currently the book of Camilla Morton, A Year in High Heels. I kept on
promising myself to finish reading the entire book but still because of too
much tasks to be done when I had my internship in Singapore, I wasn’t able to
do so. I bought that book in Popular, a bookstore wherein you can find cheap
and books on sale. According to Camilla, Valentine’s originated from St.
Valentine who was martyred in AD 269. Roman emperor Claudius was actively
recruiting men to join the army but none of them wanted to go to war and prefer
staying at home with their wives and family.
Claudius banned wedding in his logic that since there will be no
marriage, men will join and fight for him. But there was opposition, including Valentine,
the priest who was secretly marrying couples. When Claudius found out, he
condemned Valentine to be beaten to death. There was a legend that he left a
note with signed, “From Your Valentine.” Pope Gelasius in AD 496 honoured
Valentine and set February 14 for romance where the tradition of giving
chocolates and flowers, where declarations been flying faster than Cupid’s
arrow.
Today,
celebrating Valentine’s Day is more distinct. There are presence of fireworks
and concerts, parties and a lot more. Indeed it is much more commercialized.
Well, it depends as well as to how people would celebrate it. It seems that
there is really great attention given to February 14, major news headlines are
on price increase of roses, flowers and all relevant stuffs. Valentine’s as
well is good for economy, since businesses are flourishing, from restaurants,
movie houses, malls and all.
Valentine’s
is not only for lovers. And I mean it. Although romance, as they say will only
be felt if you have a partner, that doesn’t necessarily imply that those who
attained “single blessedness” status are deprived from adhering it too. It’s
not only an event for lovers, but also for those who want to be loved and those
who want to love. Well, I know it’s quite difficult to see a couple, holding
hands, sweet and very affectionate with each other. I tried to feel that way
too before. When the guy who happens to be your type/crush, brings a bouquet of
flowers and chocolates, you would always wish that he will hand it to you, or
if not, you will find someone who could do those gestures much better than he
did. Okay, daydreaming is always for free and once in our lives, we have tried
to daydream or imagine our prince charming or our princess just to make
ourselves that fairytales do come true. Those who are happy with their
relationships, fine, let us be happy for them. And for those who are single (I
don’t know if I should include myself) must try to divert our thoughts into
something fun, rather than try to bound ourselves with despair and
frustrations.
Definitely,
at first, we will feel the despair because we are single, we don’t have any
date or we are lonely. Oh yeah, we always try to think of those, deprecating
and conditioning our minds. At the end of the day, Valentine’s is over and
there you go, still bitter and unhappy just to found out that there are a lot
of reasons to be grateful. I belong to those single, I have been single
(flirting and flings are not included) for almost two decades and yes, I was
one of those who were lonely and empty, an emo and senti. Until such time last
year that I have dated someone in Singapore last Valentines Day. Of course, I
was happy by then, dinner and all but at the end, we were not able to have a
great fairytale ending. Thank God for Singapore since I am allowed to date,
freely. I hope you know what I mean. I don’t want to talk more about it but I
have had a great time last February 14, 2011. Although I was working that day,
my dream that one of my mannequins will become human.
So now, a
few hours before twelve midnight, you’re holding your phone, expecting someone
to send an sms asking you out for a dinner, blah blah blah. You keep reading
books, watching romantic movies and eating a lot. Funny but it’s real. So how a
single individual does should celebrate a valentine’s day? Well actually, there
is no standard rule as to how but because I can relate to your feelings, I can
suggest some options.
1. Reflect-
First thing to do is Reflect. You don’t need a mirror, but it will help as well
if you like. Try to ask yourself, why are you single until this very moment?
Then try to realize that there are only to possible answers: it is because of
YOUR personal choice or you are not the personal choice of the person you
choose. Let’s face it, sometimes we are hindered by a lot of factors, our
family, studies, peer pressure and ourselves. And because it was your personal
choice to be single, grasp the fact that you will not have those fairytale
stuffs, seriously. If that was your choice, stand by it, you may have a better
reason why you opt to be single. Second, you are not the personal choice. I
don’t want to be harsh but admit it, at times the person that we want the most
will never be our lover. We have varied feelings and if the person doesn’t want
you, it is indeed time for you to find someone. Don’t wait and just try to
think that love will search for you, in some instances it may but not at all.
If you wait for someone without making any effort, it’s like applying for a job
without your resume. Try to weigh options, is it better to be single or are you
open for a commitment.
2.Reinvent-
You have been wearing spectacles, your style of clothing has been patterned to
what your mom desires, your hairstyle’s like your grandfather’s signature look,
you are still acting like a brat and immature. Ask yourself, when was the last
time you bought your own clothes, when was the last time you have your haircut
and when was the last time you’ve talked to yourself in front of the mirror.
Yeah, now you will need a mirror and I will help you reinvent yourself .Try to
check your closet, what are the dominant colors of your clothing? If you’re
into black and white, believe me, your friends have been talking that you don’t
change your clothes. Disgusting right? I guess it will be the perfect time to
do a 911-thingy. First, let go of your old clothes. If you still have those
blouses, shirts during your primary and high school days, please try to think
that you’re a college student now. Clothes shrink, especially cotton materials.
If you consider that item has sentimental value, keep it but don’t wear it.
You’re at the right age now to reinvent yourself, make some changes with your
style. You need to balance conservatism versus liberated-way of dressing. If
you have great skin, flaunt it, wear something to show it. Try to invest in
clothes, trends are always dynamic. If you’re saving, try to buy in thrift
shops, “ukay-ukay, UK, whatever”. These flea markets have the best clothes and
shoes, trust me. You can even get a new top for P20. The way you dress and
style will always make an impression. For hygiene and looks, try to have a
facial. I don’t have the porcelain-like façade; I as well rely on science to
treat my abnormal acnes. The cheapest range would be from 250 onwards. It’s
painful but it’s worth it! At times they say that when a person changes his/her
hairstyle, he or she is welcoming change. Come on, you have a long, witch-like
hair since you were a kid, you have the one-sided hair-do like your grandpa
used to have. It’s indeed proper to make some changes and try having a new
look. Once you will try to do it, people will definitely notice and even
imitate it, you have just made yourself a trendsetter! Just try to think KC
Concepcion, she had her hair cut like Madame Coco Chanel, that signature
bob-cut look is the In-thing. Sometimes, you need to reinvent, and risk. Always
remember, we don’t have planes today if no one ever think of the concept of
flying. Spread your wings and Shine!
3.Release-
Yes, the third tip is to release. Release stress, hatred, anguish and negative
character. Haven’t you realized that no one dares to court or ask you on a date
because you are afraid to be broken-hearted again? Sometimes, guys won’t date
you because you’re one of those on the top spot of the most unfriendly persons
on earth. And you deserve the award! (kidding). To be able to project a
positive outlook, first it must start within you. If a lot of people love you,
maybe one special person would love you too. A person with a lot of friends and
acquaintances is definitely a person with a big heart. I guess it is fitting to
forgive as well all your foes and all the people who hurt you, let go of those
hatred and anger. You need to use a lot of muscles to frown and only a few
muscles to smile so better Smile and look good. If there are a lot of people
keep on hating you, offer and return it with kindness and they will realize
that they are wrong. They will eventually learn to love you. Try to release
stress too, have some good massage or unwind in a place that is serene and
conducive. At times, we need to be away from those noises and negative vibes
surrounding us, at times those negativities are contagious so better release
yourself from those. We have a lot of reasons to be thankful. Release negativity
and Absorb positivity. This is also the time to release yourself from things
that consume most of your time, making you unproductive. Come to think you are
spending hours to play internet games, getting hooked with social media and
found out that you are a great stalker. I don’t say that social media isn’t
good but social media at times may be addictive so try to limit and only allot
ample time to socialize. Have you ever imagined that you are spending more
hours in Facebook than reading your books. If that is the case, you’re giving
an impression that you will never be a better housewife or husband since you
dedicate most of your time into something unworthy. I am a fan of Facebook
myself but allot only time, not the entire day. Would you still Facebook when
your husband and children are hungry? Remember, we are getting older. We need
to learn the basics and don’t just rely with the help of our helpers, parents
and all. We need to learn on our own. That is why we are in school because we
are being educated and those theories learned will be applied in reality.
Absorb more knowledge and positivism, try to make yourself productive in a
sense that you are doing something valuable, not only for yourself but for
others.
I guess I
have talked a lot. Aside from those, being single doesn’t deprive us to
celebrate Valentine’s day. We can show and offer love to those in need, those
who were victims of the recent calamities. Try to call local media on how to be
a volunteer and how to offer assistance. They need food, clothing and a lot
more and I guess that is a greater love that you are sharing to a lot of people
who don’t only need material but also emotional benevolence. What im trying to
imply is that no matter how small or huge you had given, it will always be a
blessing worth thanking for. You can also spend Valentine ’s Day to orphans, to
churches, help to spread the good words of God. You may help in advocacies in
our environment. We have a lot of options and what we need is just to put some
effort in it. We can do a lot of things actually but we need to make sure that
we are open and ready, and voluntarily able to do it
In general, being in a relationship or being single,
widowed or whatever status you may have, the bottomline is that we know that love
is the selfless giving of oneself to others. To love unconditionally, I guess
that is the real essence of Love. Everyday is Valentine ’s Day. Everyday is a
day to be cherished, a day to be a Navigator of Love :)
Happy Valentine's Day!
Smarky D
Philippines/Singapore
twitter.com/ilovesmarkyposh
